21/06/2008

Five simple and effective methods to counter switch- hitting

five simple but effective ways to react if some self-adoring, publicity-hungry smart-arse attempts at switch-hitting.

1 Aim for his head

Whether he takes a left-hand or right-hand stance, the batsman's head will be in roughly the same place, give or take a few inches, and definitely at the same height.

2 Increase the sledging

This almost goes without saying, but anyone who thinks your bowling is something he can mess with on his weaker side is clearly in need of a good talking-to.

3 Use rotten fruit

The old garden favourite whereby, unbeknown to the batsman, the bowler conceals a second missile in his hand and then, to the batsman's surprise and alarm, bowls not the ball but (for example) a wasp-destroyed windfall.

4 Break out the jellybeans

Dropping obscurely suggestive items of confectionery near the crease may be just the ticket when it comes to destabilising the wannabe switch-hitter, at least if you time it correctly and choose the right colour jellybean.

5 Bowler-on-bowler action

Two balls, two bowlers, one coming in from each end simultaneously. Double the action, double the fun, with collisions, run-outs, concussions - total Rollerball-style, hand-to-hand mayhem, and with the added value of getting the statutory overs bowled in half the time.

 

I suggest rotten eggs instead of rotten fruit, it leaves a smell that should remind a switch-hitter to desist in the future.


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4 comments:

LVISS said...

Like the head ,the box, ie the space between the wind and water will also remain in the same place.It will be more effective and more painful for a life time.

Viswanathan said...

R,

Hmm.. it is too small a target and relatively well protected.

Jrod said...

I thought Bowler on Bowler action was going to be something completely different.

Viswanathan said...

Sorry to dissappoint you, UncleJ. :)